How Will You Measure Your Life?

Clayton Christensen (author of The Innovator’s Dilemma) spoke to the graduating class from Harvard Business School on How Will You Measure Your Life?. Here are a few pieces that I particularly enjoyed:

On the last day of class, I ask my students to turn those theoretical lenses on themselves, to find cogent answers to three questions: First, how can I be sure that I’ll be happy in my career? Second, how can I be sure that my relationships with my spouse and my family become an enduring source of happiness? Third, how can I be sure I’ll stay out of jail? Though the last question sounds lighthearted, it’s not. Two of the 32 people in my Rhodes scholar class spent time in jail. Jeff Skilling of Enron fame was a classmate of mine at HBS. These were good guys—but something in their lives sent them off in the wrong direction.

As I was reading through this the first time I thought he was kidding about the staying out of jail bit. It’s important to remember that no one is free from temptations to go down a road they didn’t initially plan for.

Over the years I’ve watched the fates of my HBS classmates from 1979 unfold; I’ve seen more and more of them come to reunions unhappy, divorced, and alienated from their children. I can guarantee you that not a single one of them graduated with the deliberate strategy of getting divorced and raising children who would become estranged from them. And yet a shocking number of them implemented that strategy. The reason? They didn’t keep the purpose of their lives front and center as they decided how to spend their time, talents, and energy.

It has been nearly 20 years since I graduated high school and too many of the friends I grew up with have fallen to similar fates. None of us had these types of unhappy goals as we left high school and went off to college, yet for some it happened any way.

I got this insight when I was asked to teach a class on humility at Harvard College. I asked all the students to describe the most humble person they knew. One characteristic of these humble people stood out: They had a high level of self-esteem. They knew who they were, and they felt good about who they were. We also decided that humility was defined not by self-deprecating behavior or attitudes but by the esteem with which you regard others. Good behavior flows naturally from that kind of humility. For example, you would never steal from someone, because you respect that person too much. You’d never lie to someone, either.

I really liked this particular approach to humility.

There are several other gems in his talk, I recommend reading the whole thing.